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Dec13
How You Communicate is Who You Become

Does this mean that on that day when you snap at a co-worker … that you become a cranky snapper? Or does it mean that you’d become a caring communicator simply stepping back to communicate carefully if another person diminishes you or devalues your offering.

Surprising as this sounds, brain research now affirms that how you commegaphone%2520web.jpgmunicate today … literally shapes who you become tomorrow.

Here are 5 ways people erode who they’d like others to see in them – all through communication blunders: 

1. Communicate opinionated ideas without much regard for other’s input or new facts … and your brain’s basal ganglia reboots for more narrow opinions on that topic.

2. Lie that  all is well when you really disagree with an issue, and your brain rewires for more meta messages that drive relations away and create mistrust about you at work.

3. Communicate blame and refuse to speak about changes you’d like to make in your career performance,  and you’ll rewire for many more neuron pathways to blame others.

4. Insist “yes but” to challenges at work, rather than risk failure … and you’ll strengthen the “yes but” responses. Unfortunately, at the same time, you'll also  shrink the courage you need to take risks that improve your situation. Have you seen it happen?

5. Speak more about problems than about solutions and your brain rewires for a whinier you ... as it stores your growing den of complaints. You've likely encountered this in people who find fault at work ... but who rarely suggest good solutions to problems they face.

Fortunately, communication can also wire the brain for prosperity. You can move your brain into a better place … simply  by communicating today … who you’d like to become tomorrow. Use tools such as good tone, for instance, and expect more good tone to lead you to a better place in the next day or so. The brain is shaped by your world and by responses you make to that world.

It’s that simple when you consider the way your brain works for or against you … to increase dendrite brain cells for a competitive edge … or to edge you out the game altogether. What do you think?

 


6 Comments/Trackbacks




Hey, I like this a lot, Ellen! I've always been a firm believer in using our personal vision to help shape our own futures (at least the part we have control over, anyway).

I think a key skill here would be the ability to actually notice when we do these things, followed by the ability to make changes in our own behavior. Not so easy for some, but oh, so essential for good leadership!

Ironically enough, this thought also ties in with our next What I Learned From... project (notice how I deftly worked that in?), so I invite you to stay tuned! :-)

Sounds like something I can use right now - so I basicly project out what I'd like to be and my brain rewires itself to be that way?

It also sounds like this would explain why some therapies don't work - the more expressive a person is of what's upseting them, the more they're rewiring their brains to amplify those feelings.

On that note, what's been shown to work when you want to move out of a rut?

Many thanks Bob. You've said it all here ..."I've always been a firm believer in using our personal vision to help shape our own futures (at least the part we have control over, anyway)."

I'll try to stay tuned with your next ... "What I Learned From... project" because I know it will be great. Yikes my days are getting too long lately and I must try to get Online earlier:-)

Hey Marshall -- you have said this far better than me! Thanks!

In fact your insights and questions really nudge me to write a post in response. Thanks for that too because my week has been a bit crazy and now I have tomorrow's topic and thanks to you -- enough creativity stirred up for a deep dive along the way!

You've hit on a real spark plug here -- and uncovered a reason we tend to travel on 6 cylinders rather than on all eight. Thanks for dropping by, Marshall!

It is very interesting to see this essentially physical connection with the comparable behavioral dimension of this phenomenon.

As we behave a certain way, we often generate reactions in others that drive us to continue that behavior even when we might not otherwise do so, or when it isn't typical of us. The expectation of it creates a sort of expectation that demands in a curious way to be realized by us.

Now, you're showing us an internal chemical mechanism that similarly reduces the avenues of expression available to us once we take recourse to any particular one. Very interesting.

Thanks very much for this!

Yeah, I am deeply keen on these researches. In my opinion, optimistic thinking method is the core. That is to say, we should keep our brain alive, be more active and creative when facing tough problems or just when living a daily life. Those 5 ways is active thinking method that we should consider or ask ourselves time and time again, then shape a beeter you. Its essence is coincidence with a book I read "Become a Better You". In the past, I always communicated to myself that if there were a simple way to solve problems, then I could play my PS3 games (I was fascinated by it.) Finally I realize that this thinking method made me indolent, careless, sometimes even irresponsible to my duty. I seeked for change. I told myself that I could become a better guy, you know, diligent with passion. The book offers seven simple yet profound ways to help me, and it did work. I'm not perfect, but much better than before. I think you guys who desire to change a better guy could also try these ways: http://www.dealstudio.com/searchdeals.php?deal_id=73958

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