Benefiting at work from Brain Based Insights

Hi, Ellen,

Those two words, stressed and desperate, grabbed my attention in a powerful way. So I mentally re-played the moment and realized that they tapped into my need to respond to a human call for help.

Since we all face struggles at times, I'm not put off by any leader's momentary stress and confusion. But it seems as if this person has made it a lifestyle! And now that lifestyle has become contagious and toxic within his own company.

Any idea how--or if--he desires a new kind of mental existence? If not, what is the payoff he seems to be getting from living a life of desperation?!

Great distinction here steve, between the person who slips over an edge and needs support - and a person who lives over the edge to the detriment of all.

I think a visit to the Brain Based Business Community is a prety good start to any day :)

Thanks for stopping by Galba. Funny you should say that because it makes my day when you stop by to toss a few brain based ideas into the ring! I mean it! Stay well!

Hi Ellen

I work in healthcare over here in the UK where the word 'stress' hits our ears frequently. For me your point about 'venomous' words that stall the brain couldn't be more true. In fact I sometimes hear the word used as if it were some kind of dead end, as in "I'm so stressed I think I am going to die".

We ask our clients not to use the word at all and, instead, use words that are more specific to their experience. E.g. 'headache', 'tired', 'jittery' etc and then use those as cues to decide on an appropriate next step to work through the challenges of the day.

More on how linguistic intelligence keeps people healthy please!

John, many thanks for the case study that affirms research on this one. Love your question about how linguistic intelligence keeps people healthy - and I plan to write a post soon on that topic because you asked. It's very exciting and deserves more than a comment:-) Have a terrific day, John, and check back for more:-)

Hi Ellen

Here's something I posted earlier today on linguistic intelligence and stress. Thanks for stimulating me to write this.

Hope to read more from you on this front-line problem soon! Have a great week ahead !

The first thing to do about stress is get rid of the word 'stress'. Because the moment you use that word you are going to develop the illusion that an unfair, malign world is overloading you with problems that are making you ill. Thinking about your problem in this way will usually create passivity, hopelessness, procrastination and cynicism. It's those attitudes that make you sick, not the demands on you.

When Dr Hans Selye (the uninentional founder of the Stress Industry) first came up with the word stress, he wasn't referring to the triggers but the illness. Stress, for Selye meant the exhausted, aching, virus-ridden, sleepless, anxious, depressed state his patients had ended up in. He didn't say they had been worn out by problems. Instead, he argued that they had failed to adapt to problems.

I was looking at a very good blog by Dr Ellen Weber on this very subject here. For Ellen linguistic intelligence (i.e. using words carefully) opens up options, choices and decisions. But linguistic dumbness leads straight to masochism.

Here are some examples, in which linguistic intelligence triggers emotional intelligence:

Contrast this statement:

'Things are so bad at work right now that I am heading for a breakdown'.

with this one:

I have way too much work to do and I'm going to need all the support I can get with that.

The first statement refers to 'bad' forces that cause nervous breakdowns. The second describes the challenge and the resources required to deal with it. Assuming linguistic dumbness isn't holding things up the person will soon be talking to people who can help.

Here are some other statements you could try changing if you ever catch yourself using them. Notice that the first in each pair is passive, vague, overgeneralized, or unreal. While the second is active, specific and realistic.

'My daughter is stressing me out so much I could kill her!'

try

'My daughter is staying out way too late. If she doesn't start getting home on time I will take her key away.

'My so-called 'best friend' is a real user. I can't cope with it any more'

try

'My best friend asks for way too much. I'd better learn to start saying 'No'

For:

'My relationship is the pits. I feel like I want to go live in a nunnery.'

try

'Things aren't working out in this relationship. Time we both talked about what we really want from this.'

more.....

John, I am intrigued by your reversals and thrilled by new possibilities you create. What an honor to learn from you on such a key topic for today's emplyees and leaders! Thanks - I highly recommend your site at http://reversethinking.typepad.com/weblog/ for a deeper look at amazing opportunities out there for all of us! Go LEARN "EM John, we are listening!

Thanks so much Ellen!