Benefiting at work from Brain Based Insights

Why should we care?

"I witnessed a bully destroy a workplace setting today". How could we not care about a statement like that? The language is emotive and reflective - witnessesed, bully, destroy. It instantly transported me back to instances of bullying I have witnessed, and the feelings of fear, anger, resentment, and demotivation that were stirred up.

Thank you Dr Weber for another excellent piece. As so often on BBB, your writing is thought-provoking, stimulating, and empowering.

As to your closing question - perhaps the best response to a bully depends on the circumstance. Running away - removing oneself from the situation - is often a valid and sensible response. But people in a position of authority should never tolerate or ignore bullying. I am greatly enjoying and recommend the book The No Asshole Rule: Building a Civilized Workplace and Surviving One That Isn't which is all about workplace bullying and how to handle it.

Ellen -

I've encountered a lot of bullies throughout my career and the best thing to do is to call them on it. I don't care what level they occupy in an organization - they need to be told they're a bully and how their behavior impacts those around them.

They will either care or they won't. For those that care you may have helped them see something they didn't realize and helped them to take ownership of it. For those that don't you make it clear that they will not be bullying you or others when you're around.

Most back down after that.

Ann

Simon - our comments must have crossed in cyberspace. Bob Sutton (The No Asshole Rule author) is amazing. I've also read that book and highly recommend it!

Simon, thanks for stopping by and for the tone you add to this discussion! Your book has been on my shelf too long between readings -- Yes! I must take it off and take another look - in fact your comment inspires me to do just that.

Thanks Ann, Hope the car is back on the road in fine shape!

I am intrigued by the notion of standing up and facing the bully more often -- and was quite appalled to see that 37% of the workers polled last week said they'd been seriously bullied by a boss. I've been lucky myself -- but in my work I hear many horror stories on that topic. have you ever had a bully who did not back off after faced and confronted?

Yes and no - I had one that stopped being an overt bully but started being a covert one - sabotage, intimidating others (including my team) when I wasn't around. Ultimately this inability to stop bullying and our due diligence in objectively exposing actions that delayed progress got this person fired. That was the only one that didn't back down!

PS - at the time that bully far "out ranked" all of us that worked together to get them booted! Typical for a bully (see Bob Sutton's book) - they pick on those "weaker" (or less powerful) than they are!

One problem with bullies in business is that they're often in positions of power. And, because we pretty consistently evaluate goal performance only, they are often people who produce results. This is often fine for the short term and deadly for the long term.

Good evaluation systems should evaluate those in charge of a group on the twin jobs of accomplishing the mission and caring for the people. Individual contributors should be evaluated on their work quality and quantity, but also on their impact on the group.

What an interesting distinction you make here Wally -- and it makes me think that some see care of people and building profit as two spearate entities. In my area Wegmans food chain is the big money maker and they win first nationally each year for how they treat people. After reading your thoughtful ideas - I see room for a powerful process that brings care and profitability together in new ways! Your turn....

bullys are bad