Benefiting at work from Brain Based Insights

I suggest correct reading of situations and people are the primary skills. The effective leader in the 21st century is a situational leader, sometimes highly assertive, at others far more facilitative.

I'm not sure that "assertiveness" is a term I'm comfortable with here. I can talk about controlling behavior and supervision is that art of controlled confrontation. Part of the difficulty is that you need different levels of control with different folks and different levels with the same folks in different situatinos. There is no "one size fits all" supervision.

You build a good case for showing the flexibility needed in today's workplace Galba. Why do so many feel that flexibility no longer happens, as you see it? I am working in Ireland at the moment and folks here seem to take time for the nuances - as there seems to be far few fixed ways to do things here. It works well for humanity reasons:-) and people seem more willing to interact in different ways. Hmmm?

Great distinction here and thanks for weighing in on that one Wally. As I work across cultures frequently - I see that we can get hung up on terms which get used differently in different settings. Perhaps these words differ for each area -- I agree:-) Good point.

Hi, Ellen,

You hit on something quite real when you just mentioned the issue of terminology. Knowing that you are in Ireland at the moment, it kind of jumped out at me.

Since I've spent a lot of time living and working in Europe, I've had to get used to the fact that when people there talk about management and related behaviour, they do it a lot more conversationally using everyday language.

In the U.S., there is a recent history of attempting to carefully delineate behaviors using very specific language. This is, in part, the result of approaching human behavior as a science. Since behavior is, indeed, quite situational, this approach serves at least three purposes that I can see:

1. It provides a common language, when used appropriately and above board, to discuss nuance and help one understand how specific actions impact one's effectiveness.

2. It provides specific definition of attributes that can lead to promotion, rewards, or dismissal. Which means that it also makes dismissal more explainable. (Likewise, terminology can become great fodder for one's attorney in the event of a dismissal).

3. It lends a "scientific" aura to common-sense training and development which, while fully understood as desirable by most reasonable managers, can't be bought and paid for without the "proof" that comes from a smathering of statistics and a few 6-syllable words that prove how deeply meaningful those statistics must really be.

Honest, Ellen, I did set out to answer your question. So here goes:

Everyone so far is getting at the same thing: the issue of situational effectiveness. If I don't know what to do or how to do it, then my boss has to be very directive and explanatory. If my task is something that I've done well a million times, then I want to know what the deadline is and I'll deliver it. Nothing more. If I need something along the way, I want a manager who I can go to for advice or re-direction. In the first case, the manager manages me closely. In the second, the manager is my consultant.

The reason that Ames and Flynn saw what they did is really rather simple: Since most workers are somewhat competent and, hopefully, somewhat mature, any behavior that operates at either extreme will be seen as:

1. Unnecessarily overbearing and somewhat demeaning

2. Unreasonably absent of relationship and connection, and therefore not engaged. Or overly focused on relationship and happiness to the exclusion of completing the task successfully.

Anything in between will be close enough to respectfully engage one's employees and to invite rather than discourage questions when people have them.

So, what is effective management?

The desire and ability to meet other people where they are and then spend the right amount of time helping them get where they need to go. Sometimes it's a long walk together. Other times a brief conversation and a nudge in the right direction.

What does a person need to manage in such an effective way?

1. A high degree of self-awareness regarding one's innate tendencies toward one extreme or the other

2. The desire and ability to manage those tendencies in a way that serves the needs and performance of others

3. The humility to pause regularly and ask "How am I doing?"

4. The decency to listen to the answers.

5. The wisdom to make selfless changes as a result.

Continued success during your stay in Ireland.

This is a great topic Ellen. I tend to be assertive and I know how I would like things to be done. The first skill I had to learn was the skill of being open-minded enough to know when it's ok to compromise. The key to that is to ask myself how I would want to be treated if I were the person I'm dealing with. Then I also need to ask myself what the person needs from me in order to be able to do their job. I will bend over backwards to help them get what they need and to treat them the way they want to be treated. We can continue that way as long as they deliver the service that is required of them. If they don't, then I have to be more assertive and decide what is best for the practice and the patients. So I guess my definitive answer is proper balance between what is best for the team member and what is best for the practice. Hopefully, it's a win-win.
Linda

Thanks Linda, you leave us with a compelling question that piques the curiosity.... How can we inspire more people at work to learn the fine art of reflection and awareness that will foster growth? Thoughts?

Ellen, I think it's a matter of wanting to improve or change. If the desire isn't there, it doesn't matter how many experts are brought in, how many books are read or podcasts listened to. Desire precedes change. That's why it's so hard to quit smoking(besides the addictive aspects). There is no desire to stop doing something that brings enjoyment. It is only when fear or pain overcome pleasure that the desire to change is felt. It's the same thing with the way people manage. They like what they're doing and don't blame poor results on themselves. It is only when their job is at stake or they have a revelation that things could be better for them, that desire kicks in. In my own position there is a definite yin and yang aspect to my relationship with my boss. I liked my management style, it felt comfortable to me, but it was too assertive for my boss. It felt like something he had to respond to with equal, but opposite force. It finally hurt too much and risked too much to continue to stick to my style. I finally realized that we could walk down the same path together without bumping each other out of the way. It meant giving a little space up so that he could be comfortable too. So I guess my answer is that reflection and awareness can be born of desire and discomfort. At least in my case it was.
Linda

Great conversation you initiated Ellen. The whole dance of how much control is a matter of knowing why you need to have it. This is, as another reader pointed out, a matter of self-awareness but self-awareness without attunment to the external factors impacting your response is not enough. The cultural beliefs that invisibly function are also operating as as quiet container for the relationship between control and what it takes to support creativity and innovation. Research has shown that the more a manager tries to tweak a good thing, the more it muddies up or simply stops the whole capacity of a goal driven social network to do what it does...achieve goals. The skill sets of managers and leaders have ramped up in sophistication yet the habits remain the same. Shifts will take place as the mind lens widens to see the wider and deeper factors that drive the decision to step in or support. After that it will take practise to replace habit with intentional action.

Thanks for stopping by and jumping in Dawna. I am intrigued by your notion of control as a matter of knowing why you need to have it.

Yes, self-awareness as well as support for creativity and innovation - along with practise to replace habit with intentional action! What a terrific mix for progress! You said it better than I did!