In "Our System Isn't Set Up for Death" Tom Vander Well reminded us that it’s Friday and time to chuckle.
In Tom’s words … “This little transcript has been making it around the blogosphere and e-mail lists.” Nobody seems to know its origin…. Do you?
A young man calls Citibank because they keep sending bills and finance charges to his dead relative:
Family Member: "I am calling to tell you she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Family Member: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank: "Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau , maybe both!"
Family Member: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank: "Excuse me?"
Family Member: "Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?"
Citibank: "Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor." (Duh!)
Family Member: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank: "The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply." (This must be a phrase taught by the bank!)
Family Member: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank: (Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member: "No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member: "Sure." (Fax number is given)
Citibank: "Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help."
Family Member: "Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. I don't think she will care."
Citibank: "Well, the late fees and charges do still apply." (What is wrong with these people?!?)
Family Member: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank: "That might help."
Family Member: "
Citibank: "Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?"
This conversation speaks to the brain dead in whatever mode they’re found -- glutting your workplaces and mine. Luckily though - there are still some out there who are willing to lose their teeth in a leap for change. Have you met them?
Just for the record, there are also some human and helpful banks out there. My ex-wife died in January. My grown kids were handling other estate nmatters, so closing the bank account fell to me. I called and got a young man and told him why I was calling.
"I'm sorry for your loss." was the first thing out of his mouth. Then, "What can we do to help?"
I explained that I lived some three time zones away and that limited things that I could do. I told him I was not a customer of his bank. He gave me options. There were things I need to do so the account could be closed. The next day I called back.
"I'm sorry for your loss." said the young man who took my call this time. Not only did he and his supervisor (necessary for some reason that made sense to me at the time) handle everything, they made suggestions that made the process as easy as possible. It was professional and as personal as dealing with a call center could ever be.
The bank was Bank of America. If I ever have issues with my current bank, what bank do you think I'll consider first?
Posted by: Wally Bock | July 1, 2007 1:05 PM | Permalink to Comment