Benefiting at work from Brain Based Insights

Ellen, I'm in a quandry here. I had a receptionist leave without notice in the past 2 weeks. This was a person I encouraged and tried to show support for. I saw something in her that she just didn't believe existed. No matter what examples of proof I gave her, she wouldn't or couldn't see it herself. The situation deteriorated and she left without notice rather than face the constant stream of encouragement and belief that I had in her. I realize now that I was refusing to accept her as she was in that moment in time. She may have had capabilities, but wasn't ready to or interested in applying them now. Rather than continuing to try different approaches, I would have been better off accepting that and then asking myself whether she could do the job adequately as she was. The answer would have been no, because in our practice we go beyond adequate, so she wasn't right for us. I would have then done the right thing for everyone and let her know it was time to pursue employment elsewhere. This would have prevented months of frustration and pain for everyone. In this instance my encouragement changed our workplace for the worse for everyone. It was extremely tense the last few months and now that she's gone, everyone has relaxed and a new person who fits us is in place. So how do you know when it's time to stop encouraging and start encouraging an employee to find another job? I tend to be a fixer and I think I have a blind spot here.
Linda

Reading this post and Linda's comment make me feel that there is such a difficult balance to strike between being encouraging and being realistic about another person's ability andcommtment level. I think it's even harder when a person is a naturally giving person as I sense that Linda is.

I don't really have any firm advice, I just wanted to empathise with the dilemma.

Hi All, lovely question, lovely comments.

I have an idea about the receptionist dilemma...
Leaving alone for a moment the questions about your hiring practices and changes you might make in the future, I think you're right to focus on the present for a bit. With a little backpedal...

So here you are with a questionable hire, and a person with much self doubt. For her, encouragement can't get "in" because there's no alignment, with you or herself, that she is or could be in a "development" process. Without the alignment, or a declared intention from the onset of hiring, to develop her skills and tools and confidence, encouragement falls flat, because there is no inquiry to underpin it. It all feels like a "make wrong" or "I'm not good enough."

Good inquiry questions serve to activate will in the employee to make self discoveries, job goals, commitments and results tracking. Questions encourage her responsibility for self inquiry and job performance. In addition to setting clear intentions in the beginning, here are some questions (not telling) that come up for me:

Are you willing to see your job as a learning process?
Are you committed to what we're committed to?
How do you learn best?
Where do you see yourself in five years?
What skills would you like to develop over time?
What are three personal goals you have in your life?
What three goals would you like to pursue in this job?
Can you give yourself a timeline/deadline for each of those goals?
How can I support you in achieving those goals?
What do you do when you're stuck or in resistance?
How will I know when you're stuck?
How will I know when you've accomplished your goal?

So, it's questions, commitmentm, accountability, deadlines, communication.

Other thoughts?
Lisa

Lisa, this is a brilliant spark to our inquiries. Let me take that back -- this is an amazing bonfire and a real keeper!

Wow -- this would work so well becuae it is amazingly backed with brain based theory and quality practice acumen. Bravo!

You hit a real nail into the target of this blog here! Thanks for the time and talent you generously added to help move us deeper with your addition

I think these are wonderful questions. If one was to start with some warm up questions about general interests before going into the more pointed ones that speak to personal ambition/vision, there's every chance of making the most of this positive dialogue.

Thanks Lisa

Well, I'm blushing. You provide the fodder, and set the stage so beautifully, who can resist, really. I'm an interloper in this world of yours. No pun intended, but I it's all so brainy, and I love it.

L

I just got back to this and I'm thrilled to see Lisa's input. Yes, you are absolutely correct, those questions may have helped. I suspect she would have found them extremely difficult to answer and that would have been valuable information in itself. One of the problems we face in hiring in dentistry is the lack of trained applicants. Dentistry does not compete well in the area of benefits or salary for receptionists and at times assistants. Out of 50 applicants on one occasion only one was remotely acceptable and she had no dental background. She did beautifully and then was lured away to a county job that gave benefits we couldn't come close to. We were desperate and had very few applicants to those from at the time she left. So, I knew that this most recent receptionist was not a shining star in the abilities she came to us with, but she seemed to have an excellent character and stated that she would do whatever she needed to in order to learn the position. Maybe she and I both overestimated her potential to learn or maybe our expectations were different. She saw her training as something with a beginning and an end. I saw it as an ongoing process. I will use those questions and I'm grateful for them. I am a self trained manager and know that it will be a lifelong learning process. Thanks for adding to it.
Linda

Dr. Weber,
Did you work with Dr. Valerie Hunt at UCLA in the 60's? I am trying to find some information on the research into the neurological tension patterns discovered by Dr. Rathbone , and further studied by Dr. Hunt and Dr. M. Ellen Weber. I would appreciate any information you can give me. Thank you. Betsy Wetzig

Betsy, I am sorry to tell you that I am not the Weber you are looking for.

Sorry - wish I could help you to locate her - but somebody out there may know her. have you looked in the ProQuest Data Bases for her work?