Have you seen the poster … How can I fly like an eagle when I work with a bunch of turkeys? That describes the way many people speak of their workplace when criticism comes. No question, they have a good point at times.
Most would agree, that some criticism is less than beneficial – except to raise stress and cortisol levels in the brain. People differ in their response though. Some people take criticism well and use feedback to create a better outcome. Others run from the most constructive feedback and reject any possibilities for improved performances. 
While criticism tends to deter the brain’s development, feedback, can actually build neuron pathways for growth. When people accept genuine suggestions for improvement, they can turn the cortisol that accompanies poor performance into serotonin of success.
Here are smart skills that can convert feedback into more successful results.
1. Go after one positive suggestion for change, ask for clarification, and then try it out. When the human brain receives what it perceives as attack, it shuts down, releases harmful hormones such as cortisol, and stops learning in that setting. That’s why it is useful to look for positive solutions suggested rather than focus on the negatives of criticism.
2. Look past the problems addressed in feedback, to latch onto a concrete solution suggested. Then discuss how a solution might be applied, in the opinion of the person who offered feedback.
3. Step back from all criticisms so that you can check your tone to ensure it remains without emotion. Stay positive. Wait until you that you are not communicating meta-messages … and ask the person for clarity if you’d like more.
4. Ask two-footed questions such as… If you were to do what you suggest here, how would you get started…? Can you give me an example of what this might look like…? What would this look like if it were accomplished…? Good questions offer mental directions and build communication
5. Look at the feedback from a peer’s perspective. In this way you’ll draw from your intrapersonal intelligence that allows you to see and react as another might do so. Jot down new perspectives that process gives you.
Can you think of other ways to benefit from feedback, even when it’s hard to accept?
Nice post Ellen. I have had to give some feedback lately that was very difficult to deliver. Not because it was very negative, but because the person I was trying to give it to was so resistant to receiving it. Rather than try to hear what I needed from her and my suggestions for improvement, she was determined to tell me I was wrong and make excuses for why she wasn't doing as I asked. The amount of time and stress caused by her barrier intensive response was unnecessary and frustrating. I finally looked at her and said 2 things, 1. you must listen and agree to these changes or you are choosing to require me to hire someone who will and 2. If I didn't believe you have the potential to do this, we wouldn't be having this discussion, I would be following through on number 1. She finally relaxed and agreed that she could do what I asked. The next day she began doing that. After 3 months of approaching and reapproaching the matter my advice would be don't make excuses, think of solutions. Believe that if someone is bothering to talk to you about a problem, it stands to reason they believe there is a solution. Save the cortisol for something else.:)
Linda
Posted by: Linda Zdanowicz | January 7, 2007 12:24 PM | Permalink to Comment