Over at I Can’t Say That! … Dr. Tammy Lenski had a great post today on the silences we hear at many meetings.
Tammy asked: “Have you ever been in a meeting where the chair asked something like, ‘Does that plan sound ok to everyone?’ “
She described what I too have encountered… “ Perhaps there was a 
brief pause, an assenting remark or two, a couple of nods and silence from the rest. "All right, then it’s a go,” the chair may have said then.’
Silence to Tammy… does not mean "Yes, I agree."
It can however, mean: ”I’m still thinking about it. I may agree but am not sure yet. Yes, I agree. No, I don’t agree but I’m not going to say it out loud here. No, I don’t agree but I’ll never admit to it.” Great discussion, Tammy, and it really got me thinking about how silence works….
Let’s say you ask at the beginning of a leadership session … what folks want to take away … after you highlight the plans you had in mind. People name their desired takeaways openly in a safely created setting… and you add their specifics to the list. People seem happy and you steer the session to provide each identified deliverable – yours and theirs.
The session ends and you return with the group to reflect on each takeaway … to ensure all on the list were met. Participants agree they were met … and yet a few people there remain silent. Then on the feedback one person names a “piece” hoped for … and while it’s the first time you saw that piece … and while the desired takeaway does not relate directly to your session … the participant expressed dire disappointment that it was not offered in this session.
While I liked Tammy’s challenge to invite people and I agree… I see silences that shatter at times ... and silences that make me stop and wonder ... at others …. What do you think?
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