Ever wonder how rebates … more aptly called “Rebate Hell” by astute customers … really got started by places like Hewlett-Packard and
Here’s a mock boardroom meeting between Circuit City Rebate Gurus Greedngrab and Peopleuser that says it better than I can.
Greedngrab Hey man … we need more money for
Greedngrab Ok… I’m desparate to keep my job – how’s it work?
Peopleuser… Look these suckers’ll snap up computers here first man… if they only THINK they’ll get a deal … that’s where this 50 buck rebate comes in….
Greedngrab … Yeah … but we have to nail down a sure way to keep ‘em from the bucks that go with these phony rebates we cook up…. Hey… I’m getting your drift here….
Peopleuser Now you get why this is a sweet deal for us … we’ll get ‘em over a barrel … cause we’ll bust up the fifty buck rebate into ten phony sites to send em’ and each one’s worth a few pennies… and they’ll have to send in oodles of stupid codes ‘n numbers n thingies that manufacturers hide better if it suits ‘em and st up phone lines with computer dummies at the other end….
Greedngrab Cool … love those dummies on the automated phones … that’ll slow ‘em down. Hey… it’s a win-win for us man. I keep my job and the boys at the top get extra bucks to golf more. Peopleuser That’s why we call it rebate stupid…. Re—stands for suckers come back again and again till they finally give up in despair and leave rebait … I mean rebate bucks with
Greedngrab Hey, but what about the smart one’s who’ll figure out that most rebate bucks come back to Circuit City bait-n-switch boys at the top … and only the odd buck makes it back to any sucker who buys from us?
Peopleuser Listen stupid, I am not called Peopleuser for nothing! When they figure this one was robbin’ em blind – we’ll get another bait-n-switch idea to keep us reelin’ in their bucks.
Greedngrab Hey… it keep jobs like mine here in the US– not a bad idea…. I wonder what those sucker’d think if they only heard us now? Think they’d grab the next rebate deal … just to give us the last laugh at
Comment Preview