
Ever give or get back feedbacks from hell?
When asked to give feedback about others… do you give tips and encouragement you’d like to get. Because I have been so helped over many years by so many wonderful comments from thoughtful people, I decided to make comments about others more like the kind I too grow and learn from. ![]()
To offer thoughtful feedback actually benefits your own brain. It turns out that the human brain rewires and shapes itself by what you say about and do to others. Your feedback in other words should show tips and insights that would work well for your own growth… if it came back to you. Why? Because the brain is either buoyed up or dragged down specifically by what we say … and words you spot help to mix mental hormones accordingly … in ways that impact your own day -- up or down. Watch the face of a person who finds something good to say as opposed to a complainer … and you see what I mean. Or go for lunch with the person you enjoy being around most … and listen to how they shape words when they speak to or about other people.
Here’s how you can offer more brain based tips to help fellow workers … while avoiding words that tear down and make a miserable workplace or a cranky you. Offer feedback that:
1. Encourages people to do more of what they do well. Simply tell them specifically … “I really like the way you...” and then name a specific thing they did well that day.
2. Offer solutions that work well … rather than dwell on problems or flaws you detect. Suggest: Rather than … (here name a specific flaw you noted) … you may wish to try … (here offer a creative solution as a good friend might)
3. Write words that would help you most if you were to receive feedback under the same circumstances.
4. Look over what you wrote and check every sentence for positive tone that will help the person to move forward.
5. Risk adding your name to any words you write so that you ensure words that really take courage… build up a person’s strengths … and offer genuine tips for growth as you have experienced over time.
Anybody can tear others down through careless words thrown onto feedback forms without much thought. People who offer feedback …with the brain in mind … on the other hand … give words that offer hope…. That’s why they can always add their name as a way to avoid the criticism or cynicism that can come with anonymity. What do you think?










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