Benefiting at work from Brain Based Insights

Have you ever wondered what would bring you better results with that difficult person at work? It’s especially tough when that person complains, throws  tantrums, or just keeps showing up daily in ways that make your life miserable.  Because you possess interpersonal intelligence… you can learn effective tactics to resolve conflicts that come from difficult people …. It’s important to remember at the same time thought… that you can't control other people's personalities or behaviors.

Believe it or not… your real power with difficult people … lies in your ability to work on yourself. Not even the best interpersonally intelligent attempt will work if you feel fearful, judgmental, or intimidated by a difficult person. That’s where another useful intelligence can kick in to help you…. Your own intrapersonal intelligence acts like a  balm of Gilead from which you can begin to  create a better place … in spite of a difficult person’s negative behavior.

I used to work with a woman who gossiped to the point she damaged everyone she worked with. She was moody and faked kindness to people, yet hardly a day went by when she didn't damage someone’s reputation to the administration. On several occasions I confronted this person… but with the idea I could help her to change. Wrong move…. Eventually I left that workplace without changing myself or her. Has that ever happened to you?

The more aware you are that a person could damage you… the more you can step back and watch what's happening. The mind is able to create a good place for you in more relationships that you think. When it comes to the brain. you first change your inner view, and then the world changes to match it. Simply put,  when you want to change a relationship at work, you first shift your thoughts and feelings.

Here is one way to make the shift:

Imagine you and the difficult person respectfully working together as a powerful step toward breaking down the barriers between you. Your intrapersonal intelligence transforms you first  in order to transform a difficult relationship into a more respectful working relationship.  Once you have imagined the best that relationship could be, it’s time to confront that person with that same thoughtful tone.  Simply explain that while you appreciate the person’s strengths… you’d like to put certain boundaries up such as keeping personal space while you work. Set the boundaries firmly, and it has been my experience, that person will respectfully follow them. Worth a try…?