Benefiting at work from Brain Based Insights

::: Comment about Online Tone :::

I live in a world of words. I am the only one on my team who works in my home office - so I must read what others post carefully....to catch the meta-message. I can't see their faces - I can't hear the tone in their voices....so I must somehow find those in the words they use in messages to me. Similarly, my team must find meaning in my written words - and hopefully all team members will not just read what I wrote but will read what I meant to write. Sometimes I don't even know what I meant to write until after it's been posted, and I realize that was not what I meant to say!

What I've found at the heart of communication is value. Each one of us wants to feel valued....and when we approach others, we must strive to help that person glean a sense of his or her value to us. I've got to watch it, if the person is on the low end of my value scale!!! What I found about this list of online tone benefits is that we all take ourselves too seriously - we value our pride a little too much and the pride of others a little too little. If only we could stabilize that balance.

I'm giving a workshop on team communication this week. Part of the team is in one building, but instead of walking over and talking to someone who is nearby, team members write to each other and post the note via email. Perhaps that is something we should ask ourselves when we do have the opportunity to speak - and I even have that opportunity with my team: I can pick up the phone. Every now and again, just to regroup with those we communicate with online - we ought to provide a different dimension: we should talk face-to-face if possible; and if not, phone-to-phone.

Despite all of the advantages our modern world allows and the options we have to communicate.....we still have challenges expressing ourselves and letting others know what we mean. I once read in a communications textbook that only 7% of the meaning from spoken words comes from the words themselves - the rest comes from body language and tone and facial expressions. If we only have words - and a few emoticons along the way - no wonder it's often quite difficult to indicate what we really mean when we are stretching that 7% to do all of the work!

Good thoughts about tone....and an invaluable website here! I've bookmarked it and will keep coming back. Thank you, Ellen, for helping my brain to stretch.

Dianne V'Marie
Doctoral Candidate, ABD
Faculty, University of Phoenix
22 April 2006

Dianne, what an amazing response...

You'd love the notion of meta-messages in Deborah Tannon's research and best selling books on the topics you raised so well here!

Thanks for inspiring all of us!

I think you are right tone does set the atmosphere. I will try to remember this and hopefully it will help me to succeed.

Thanks,

Cynthia

Cynthia, thanks for stopping by! Interestingly tone is developed and improved constantly by people like you who see its value and who recognize its colors! I suspect you could already teach us all lessons on tone that you have learned along the way. If you ever care to do so as quest blogger -- do let me know. that would be fun.

I also do most of my business with customers online through emails. I am always careful to get my wording just right so it is not taken in the wrong way. I have to be very specific in what I say and how they are going to respond to it. My tone is usually taken in an upbeat context. Those who don't know my tone may take offense to what I am trying to say to them. I so not like to have anyone mad at me for something that they have taken into the wrong context. I make sure to read and reread everything before I send a message out. Hoping that they are going to understand my tone the way I intended them to take it.

I hope to make good use of what I have just read, and to keep it in mind in my communications.